Upcoming Posts and Comments of the Week

Welcome to www.benthegroom.com!  Hopefully the shorter site name will make it easier to find my blog, and I can capture the attention of more readers!  I've had a great week planning the wedding with Hannah and filling you in along the way.  There is plenty more to come.

Stay Tuned For
Wedding Band Part II - Two-Toned or Plain Gold
The Groom Budget  - When to Spend and What to Save
Interview With the Bride - Hannah's side of the Planning.

Comments Of The Week
Shannon ONeal said...
BrideTide said...
Reagan said...

I love hearing from you so please e-mail or comment any time. It's great to find out who's reading along.

Have ideas or questions? E-mail them to and they could be the next post!

Thanks Everyone,
Ben B
benthegroom@gmail.com

Guest Post -Groom Clues: 3 Simple Steps to Being a Better Fiance (Part 1)

Check out my guest post at Groom Advice

Today, we launch a three-part guest blog series from Ben the Groom on being a better fiance.

Playing the role as the supportive fiance is a never ending battle.  There is a fine line between doing nothing, making your bride think you’re apathetic, and being too involved, driving her crazy with questions about the budget. As I posted on my blog before, it’s not about how much you’re involved, it’s about how you’re involved. and there are plenty of ways to make life easier on yourself!

Ben says food, especially french toast, can make any wedding planning activity run smoother

STEP 1: Find ways to incorporate food into the any wedding planning activity.  For example, last night my fiancé told me that we need to make a checklist for the next two weeks.  Because it was late and we were both hungry, I knew that just sitting there, hovering over the same list of to-do’s, we were bound for trouble.  The solution? A quick meal of French toast to supplement our work. Within minutes, she was busy reviewing the list while I was making dinner, listening to her suggestions.

Remember though, you’re not making dinner instead of working with her, you’re making dinner while working. This same philosophy can be applied to almost any activity.  If she asks you to register at Bed-Bath-Beyond on a busy Thursday night, suggest you stop at Cracker Barrel afterwards to review your selections. Before you know it, you’ll be knee-deep in a Country Morning Breakfast for dinner, and she’s getting plenty of time to soak in the registry list you just created.

Next time your fiance asks you to help her complete a job think to yourself, how can food make this better?

Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog.

Choosing a Photographer – They Should Look as Professional As Your Wedding

There are few decisions important as choosing the right photographer. Flowers die, food is thrown out, invitations are pushed to the back of a kitchen drawer, but your wedding photos will be hanging forever.

Grooms, if you're helping your bride pick the right person for the job, remember how much time you'll be spending with this person and visible they will be during the wedding.  Your fiancé has worked incredibly hard to make the ceremony look perfect—the last thing you want is to have a frumpy, clumsy, obtrusive photographer stealing the moment.  Expect them to be moving around during the ceremony, but if you expect they will be stomping around, holding their pants up because their utility belt is too heavy, as though they're carrying a bag of loose change, don’t consider letting them take the wedding day captive.

Currently, we're talking to Alex Gibbs of Alex Gibb's Photos.  He does excellent work at a great rate and is highly recommended. He has a unique perspective, and every photo is full of life.  He works primarily in the Atlanta area and does shoots of anything from weddings to concerts!

Comment below and let me know what you think.

Engagement Party - What Guys are Thinking

What Girls Talk About

What Guys Talk About

Last weekend, Hannah's friend Tara and her husband JD hosted a small engagement party in our honor.  A great benefit of being engaged is being adopted by a new circle of friends, especially ones as nice as Hannah's.

After our delicious meal, the girls broke away to try on old wedding dresses, while the guys stayed and talked about camping fiascoes, groom's wedding woes and "the grossest thing I've ever seen...." stories.  By the end of the night the guys were left doing the dishes and the girls came out of the room emotionally drained from all the laughing and crying.

Weddings, amidst all the time, stress and money,  bring people together. Thanks for a wonderful evening.  Cheers.

Thanks to our best friend Meredith, a hockey blogger of the Tampa Bay Lightning, for taking these great pictures.

[click to enlarge]

How Would you Build Your Wedding Command Station?

A dorm room is no place for a bride to organize a wedding, but neither is my bachelor pad. However, with my house as our best option, tonight starts the building of the "Wedding Command Station." With filing cabinet, desks and office supplies at her disposal, we’ll be prepared for extensive budgeting and wedding brainstorming. And for emergency pick-me-ups, don’t forget to have an extra stash of Starbucks VIA on hand.

With my brain more frazzled than ever, one central station for the to-do lists, guest updates, vendor pricing and invitation ideas will be extremely helpful.  Beginning tonight, I will literally eat, breathe, and sleep wedding.   I still highly recommend this read before any groom gets too deep in the planning process.

I'll post pics once the command station is complete, but how would you build your Command Station?  What items do you consider essential?

Jury Duty: Dealing with Unexpected Schedule Changes

Friday night we made a last minute decision to drive back to Jacksonville to visit few more venues.  However, anything is possible when planning a wedding. When we arrived, a letter with the potential to ruin our weekend was waiting for Hannah. It was the necessary duty that everyone tries to avoid: jury duty.  The last-minute notice warned that she was just two days away from a hundred dollar fine and contempt of court, a serious reminder that even last-minute plans are set to fail.  Can you imagine the added stress of dealing with all the paper work and phone calls, explaining why you didn't show up for jury duty?  Hannah is already juggling long-distance wedding plans with a full-time school schedule. She doesn’t need any further complications.

I've learned it’s best to plan for everything and nothing at the same time.  Each Sunday evening, Hannah and I discuss plans for the upcoming week, but honestly, I leave my schedule open for extreme interpretation.  Planning a wedding in six months is a huge commitment and requires committing fewer responsibilities along the way.

Wedding planning will not take up all your time, but it should become top priority.  Last fall we filled our schedule with hockey games, dinner with friends and anything else we could fit, but this season we're trying to leave our weeks as open as possible to leave room for what we planned, and especially for the curve-balls we aren’t expecting.

If you're engaged, my advice to you is to enjoy having a valid excuse to get out of any plans you’d like to avoid.

Any stories of unexpected turns you'd like to share? 

Noted - Journal Your Wedding Along the Way

As I enter another weekend full of important wedding to-dos, I want to encourage my fellow grooms-to-be to write everything down: contacts, guestbook ideas, song requests, guest list additions.  I suggest using a classic Moleskine journal.  It is as small as it is cool, it will impress any vendor you're negotiating with.

[Pictured: Moleskine Pocket Ruled Notebook Available for $10.95]

Guest Post - Groomsmen Jumping Photo: Enough is Enough!

Check out my guest post at Groom Advice

We’ve all seen it: The groomsmen jumping picture.  Sure, it was a tradition created with good intentions, designed to show off how “real men” take pictures, full of spontaneity and excitement.  But face it guys, its been done a thousand times over, and every stuffy photographer out there is suggesting the pose. Honestly, the pictures rarely turn out that great anyway.  There is always the guy who either can’t get off the ground, has to stick his tongue out, or actually believes his jumping skills are going to impress the brides maids. Rule of thumb: If the photographer is suggesting the pose, it’s safe to assume it’s not that original.

In 2010, let’s create some new trends and leave the “jumping picture” behind.  If you’re really looking for something different that justifies spending a lot of money on a picture of your guy friends, try something like:

* All wear dead president Halloween masks
* Quickly switch to AC/DC khaki shorts, or
* Jump off the second story balcony into the bushes


Let’s push the envelope this year and make some memories worth paying for.

What do our readers think about the groomsmen jumping wedding photo: Is it a yay or nay?

How Do I Smell?

You're not making a grand entrance. Your bride has already seen your tux.  So what can you do to surprise her as she walks down the aisle? This situation, not wanting to take the attention away from the bride, calls for extreme subtlety. Buy new cologne.

On a day this important, full of waiting and anticipation, every detail counts, and you can spice up your vows with an olfactory surprise.  She'll finally take your hands and lean in only to realize she's smelling an entirely new you.  Its important to chose your fragrance wisely because the last thing you want is your bride making frog noises trying to clear her throat as she develops an allergic reaction to your fragrance.

It's your big day and you deserve nice new cologne. Skip the knock-offs.  This summer's suggestion is John Varvatos ARTISAN.

[Pictured:  John Varvatos ARTISAN 4.2 Ounce Bottle Available for $77.00]

Engagement Photos Featured on Always A Blogsmaid

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE POST

Huge thanks to Always A Blogsmaid!  Her blog was featured in the January issue of Brides' Magazine as one of the Top 10 Wedding Blogs of 2009!

Missions Accomplished

You know you're a groom when... you carry a tote bag with wedding magazines to work.

According to our Knot account we have 124 of our remaining 372 tasks overdue.  This means we have an enormous amount of work to complete before we're even on schedule.  Hannah and I have been hard at work since even before our engagement, but it seems like the tasks are endless. Between my work, her college courses, church and friends it is very easy to start feeling overwhelmed.

Last night, however, we took a few minutes to discuss the items we HAVE completed and nothing could have been more therapeutic. Budget / Guest List / Wedding Party / Officiant/ Time of wedding /Location almost finalized.   We're making progress and it feels great!

Start taking time at the end of the week to discuss tasks you have completed and how happy you are with the end results.

Its not a Funeral Home so Why Act Like it?

From this day forward I, Ben the Groom vow to smile more often, and help my fiance do the same.

This weekend I joined Hannah and her parents to visit a couple of sites for the reception/ceremony.  As much as I want to and as much as you think I should, I'm not going to post any details on locations we visited just yet.

While breaking for lunch we noticed the couple behind us was meeting with the site's wedding planner, who we had been trying to reach all morning.  The remainder of the meal I eavesdropped only to learn the groom's cake was $4.50 a person.  A couple of hours later we saw the same couple, and one of us (I won't say who) said, "They'll never make it. He hasn't cracked a smile the entire day", and honestly, she hadn't either!

The rest of the afternoon we jokingly pointed out couples who appeared unhappy and assumed they too were there on wedding duty.  They looked more like they were choosing a funeral home then a reception spot.  From this day forward, I, Ben the Groom vow to smile more often, and help my fiance do the same.  My adversary will be thinking/talking too much and not spending enough time simply soaking it all in.  There is a time to worry about where the tent will fit, and a time to just sit back and smile, while your fiance runs  through gardens imagining where we'll all stand.

Crew VS Converse

[Pictured: J. Crew x Sperry Topsider CVO sneaker available for $75.00.]

I'm feeling a little Conversed when it comes to weddings, but whats more fun for a guy then wearing his favorite sneakers on the big day.  In search of an alternative I came across J. Crew's Sperry Top-Sider.  The Nantucket Red Canvas shoes would be great for a morning wedding in a tan suit right?

Red Converse VS Nantucket Red Sperry Top-Sider - You Decide.

Engaging Week

Thanks for all the fun, advice and encouraging words this week!  I'm looking forward to a busy weekend of wedding meetings and budget crunching.

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First Guest Post at www.groomsadvice.com

Check out my work at http://groomsadvice.com/2010/01/15/manning-up-in-the-womens-world-of-weddings/

Ben Bunting, editor of Ben The Groom, stops by today with some tips for men on navigating the waters of wedding planning, enjoy!

I’ve learned that becoming a better fiancé doesn’t mean you have to throw all masculinity to the wind nor does it mean you need to fall in love with color Inspiration boards and the latest wedding trends of 2010.  Your bride to be doesn’t need your detailed opinion on chair covers and ring pillows. What she really wants is to see you manning up to the occasion.

Eating healthy & staying in shape will make this wedding planning thing a lot easier.

Dedicate more time these next few month to your health and style. Your bride will love watching you eat healthier and exercising more regularly.  She’ll assume the changed you is in preparation for the wedding (fitting into a suit, pictures, more energy). She’ll be happier, you’ll be looking better, and you haven’t had to give one thought to what salt shakers to register for.

This is also an excellent time to work on your image and wardrobe.  Go in for a fresh new haircut and try something different.  Ask your fiancé what she thinks and how it would look on the big day.  Start shopping for new cuff links instead of opting for the generics that come with the rented tux. Spend sometime working on yourself and it will go a long way in the eyes of your bride.

$85, available at Anna Sheffield, 153 Lafayette St., NYC., (212) 925-7010,annasheffield.comhttp://shop.bingbangnyc.com/

Wedding Band - A Lost Cause?

This summer I will promise to spend the rest of my life with Hannah, the most amazing person I've ever met. I will also promise to wear the same very important wedding ring every single day for the rest of my life.  I wish someone would calculate the probability of losing a ring that you plan to wear the next 60 years.  It's frightening when considering all the scenarios. Do you keep it on when: going to the beach, working out, showering, sleeping away from home?

Practice makes perfect right? So three months ago I purchased a cheap stainless-steel ring from Ross-Dress for Less and have been wearing it every day since.

Guys, if you're stressed about losing a wedding band, buy something cheap and treat it like the real deal!  Because learning from your mistakes is much easier when it doesn't cost $400

Groom's Gift of the Century

                 

Almost 4 years ago I was a groomsmen in my friend David's wedding.   As a present for being in his wedding, he surprised me with one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. A Tissot PR50. Fully equipped with a Sapphire Crystal lense and my name engraved on the back.  I've never been one to wear watches but when you receive one this amazing you immediately fall in love with them.  This watch has been on my wrist every day since!  Thanks David.

Jumping ahead to my wedding. I gave Hannah a yellow gold solitaire and I plan to wear a yellow gold band to match. Can I wear a gold wedding band and a silver watch? I'll post my findings later, but comment below if you have any thoughts.

More Reading - Less Talking

To be involved or not involved? That is the question.  At least that's the question I've received from 90% of the people I tell I'm engaged.  Some believe its best I stay out of the way, while others suggest I be by her side  at every opportunity possible.

Gentlemen, I've quickly learned that it's less about HOW MUCH you're involved, and more about your attitude and capability WHEN you're involved.  This is why I've adopted a "Read More - Talk Less" philosophy.  Learn everything you can about bouquets, cummerbunds and heavy hors d'ouevres, but keep this information to yourself.  In time your familiarity and interest in Yellow Pom Flowers will be priceless but until called for, keep this wealth of learning locked up.

I'll post my favorite blogs later but till then I HIGHLY recommend the Magazine Real Simple Weddings 2009. It's easy to read straight through and does an excellent job of presenting the big picture.  It will give you an excellent understanding of what your fiance is facing. But remember, hold back everything you've learned about registries until she asks!

How Google Voice Says Congratulations

Google Voice (Google's new voice mail transcription service) had a difficult time translating all the celebratory messages my friends and Family left me. Try deciphering these messages!

”Hello again, Just want to say congratulations rapper Wars not have been lacking related. Love you.”

“Hello graduated in before you. Hey Benjy, Bunting plants and I'm sorry that she's engaged you. Hello monthly up so line and talk to you soon. Bye.”

”Hey kiddie ride relation guys just just calling to see how went and just chit chat a bit”

”Hey Ben, This is Dan, Just wanna call and say hi and let you all know the the Header injector really thought about you.”

”Then how are you my friend Congressional Ashanti. Do you know if you ban man."

”Ben, Bunting Clinton's to think there's two things days.”

https://www.google.com/voice

On One Knee - Buy New Socks

Guys, do yourself and your fiance a favor and get on one knee, because that is going to be the first question that every girl asks "did he get on one knee?"

I was going over the outfit I planned to wear and realized that if I was going to get down there was going to be lots of sock exposure for some very special moments. My current supply of mismatched off-white sagging socks was not going to cut it!

Dont ruin a great picture opportunity! Buy some great socks!

I found a great pair of blue and red argyle socks at Tj Maxx. I genarally hate all things Ed Hardy but when it comes to socks they worked fine.