Accessorize With Cotton and Canvas

When making the formalwear your own, don't ignore cotton and canvas.  Along with a great pair of shoes, try accessorizing with these  options.

[Pictured: J.Crew accessories starting at $20.00

Cotton or canvas accessories provide more color options, and will set you apart from what most grooms are wearing. If you're looking for classy and cool try cotton and canvas. 

Update Your Undershirts

Looking good on your wedding day has a lot to do with feeling good. You need to be excited about the way you look and happy with your choice of formalwear.  However, confidence in your wedding day appearance starts way before straping on the cummerbund and bow-tie. Great grooming is important, but here’s another small detail you shouldn't forget.

Buy New Undershirts

I know the wedding guests aren't going to see the gross pit stains, haggard collar and holes in your old undershirt but why spend all that time and money getting cleaned up if you're  just going to put on a shirt thats perpetually dirty?

My favorite are the Tagless Perfect T's from Hanes.

If you're looking for more info on undershirts, there is an entire website dedicated to the ins and outs of the business.

Keeping In Contact with Your Wedding Vendors

What is more challenging: Choosing the right wedding vendors, or juggling them once you have them?

Less than three months until the wedding day, and I think we've chosen/contacted all the vendors we need.  Not all wedding planning is rushed, but when it comes to vendors, making your selections seems to be an ASAP situation.  The first month of the engagement, Hannah and I were either online or on the road searching out a venue to fit our budget.  Once we finalized that selection, it opened an entirely new door of options and companies to contact.

Well we did it, we’ve finalized all the vendors, but now it’s our job to keep the spinning plates going—not always an easy  job.

What’s a Groom to do?
1. Be aware, but don't bug:  Believe me, your bride is getting enough reminders like "have you heard from ____ yet?" or "Wow, they should have e-mailed you with details by now!" She doesn't need the same from you.  She likely knows when vendors are slow to respond, and she doesn't need you to remind her.  What she does need is for you to be aware of when timing is getting crucial so when she tells you she HAS to meet with someone tonight, you'll already understand why it's so important.

2. Volunteer, but don't take over:  When you think a job is behind schedule, the nice thing to do would be to take it off her hands, right? Not necessarily.  Stepping in to be Mr. Perfect, but only when it fits your schedule and when it’s a job you want to do, isn't always helpful.  Simply say "I'm ready to help, just say the word."  If you know she's going to be busy with something else for a week (school, trip, work, family etc..) you can ask her if there’s anything she'd like done while she's busy.

3. Relax, but don't appear uninterested:  You chose your vendors for a reason--they're going to come through just fine. Try to help your fiance relax.  Just because a vendor isn't calling you every second it doesn't mean they aren't doing their job.  Enjoy the silence.  Just remember that a lot is resting on these vendors, so be careful to not ignore what your bride is feeling. Panicking is not the answer, nor is doing nothing.

Being a great groom is a balancing act.  You can read all the blogs you want, but it's far more important to first understand your bride, then understand weddings.

Wedding Bands Have Arrived: The Whiteflash Experience

[Pictured Whiteflash 14k yellow gold Comfort Fit and Knife Edge bands available here]

Guys Wedding Band... Where do you Start?
I am happy to announce that the wedding bands have officially arrived. After the debate of whether to go classic or cool, and if I could mix metals, and I am now the proud owner of a classy 14K yellow gold band.

We got both rings from Whiteflash, and I couldn't be happier with our experience.  How we choose our rings:

1. Started with the engagement ring.  A classy, yellow-gold solitaire that belonged to my grandmother.  We needed a band that would complement, not overpower, her current ring.
2. Decided to both wear yellow. We decided our bands should match, so yellow-gold it is! I’d always assumed I'd wear a white-gold band, but I'm extremely happy with yellow!
3. Browsed  jewelry stores. We decided to go to Tiffany’s for sizing and ideas, to help narrow down the options. We knew we liked gold, but we weren't ready for the price.

Our wedding band search all came together when we visited Whiteflash!  After navigating through their site we e-mailed them pictures of Hannah's engagement ring.  They listened to what we were looking for, looked closely at Hannah's engagement ring and gave us great suggestions. Next thing I knew, our rings were in the mail!

Comfortable, exciting, affordable, and unique is how I would best describe the whiteflash experience.  I immediately told my best-friend/groomsmen—now a groom—himself to visit their site!
www.whiteflash.com

Thanks Whiteflash

Happy Birthday Hannah

[Ben the Groom is a little busy today with his birthday girl! Talk to you all tomorrow]

Love You Hannah

Your Groom

Groom's Blog Evolving

My blog is designed to give wedding advice to grooms, but as my readers grow, so do ideas and opportunities.

I'm considering adding a new element to my site, designed to give groom advice to brides.  I'm not planning to provide wedding advice to women, however, I feel brides may enjoy learning more about their grooms, and how to better work with them throughout the wedding-planning process.

Women: I would like to hear from you on this.  Leave comments below and/or e-mail me with subject matter you'd like discussed and researched.  I plan to answer specific questions from you as well as discuss what the groom wants and needs during the months leading up to your wedding.

Thanks,
Your Groom

Invested in your Groomsmen

[Pictured: J.Crew Irish linen vest available for $88]

I'm currently investigating how I feel about my groomsmen in tan vests instead of suits.  I'll be updating my site with different thoughts, but here is the dilemma:

1: A summer destination wedding, like mine often calls for tan suits.
2: Formalwear rental locations have only one tan suit if any at all.
3. Asking your groomsmen to buy a tan suit can be a little pricey.

What are your initial thoughts on grooms sporting just vests? 

Marriage Advice From My Boss

Today my boss decided to share some advice with me, and i figured I'd pass it along to you.

When you argue:

"Would you rather be right, or would you rather get along? If you're talking you're not listening. When she's speaking, shut up and listen."

The same applies to wedding planning.  There are more then enough things to argue about when preparing for your wedding, but I promise that two days after the argument, you'll realize what you were discussing wasn't important to begin with.  Guys, you may be right that a two thousand dollar horse and carriage ride from one side of the hotel to the other is ridiculously overpriced, but sometimes you just need to keep quiet.

Your Groom

Gold Wedding Band and a Silver Watch: Yay or Nay?

[Pictured Tissot PR50 / WhiteFlash 14k Band]

Today we settle the issue: wearing a gold band and a silver watch.

Reader Comments

First, thank you to  readers who have e-mailed, tweeted, or facebooked me on the subject. Your thoughts, however, have resulted in a split decision. Some of you strongly opposed the idea, stating it's a huge faux pas, while others suggested that mixing metals is okay.

Personal Research

I dove into online research, finding little on the subject of metal mixing with watches and rings.  While the trend has moved towards accepting a mixture of gold and silver, there are still resources that lean the other way.  Regarding man-jewelry, a very reliable source stressed treating the decision as an afterthought, advising not to over-emphasize the bling you’re wearing. Mixing metals might be a good way to put Philip Crangi's theory into practice.

Jeweler's Thoughts

The sales clerk at Tiffany's suggested a two-toned ring, but a two-toned ring just isn’t me. Choosing a two-toned seems like a non-decision. I wanted yellow gold, so if I came out with mostly silver ring with gold trim I've strayed from the original goal.

Finally, I went straight to a source I trust for the opinion that’s worth a listen.

L.A.S. of Sartorially Inclined
"You are absolutely fine with wearing both...seriously."

There you have it. Confident in his answer, L.A.S. feels no need to explain.  You don't have to agree, but here’s Ben the Groom's final answer on mixing gold wedding rings and silver watches:

"You are absolutely fine with wearing both...seriously."

For more on the subject read:
Grooms Gift of the Century
Unique Wedding Band Idea: Railroad Spike Ring
Two-Toned Wedding Band: Tiffany's vs. Crangi

Wedding Planning: The Calm Before the Storm

Right after we were engaged, we were forced to quickly find a venue, pick a date, find a dress, and start our gift registry. Since then, things have slowed down.  When going over the checklist there is still plenty to do, but we've covered many of the important pieces and stress level is way down.

We're only about three months away from the big day, and I feel like our life isn't totally consumed by the wedding. It’s actually kind of nice.  As I type this, however, my brain fills with phone calls and confirmations I need to make--but is this relaxing feeling normal?  Is this the calm before the storm? Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it.

Hannah is a full-time student, and as the school year is ending she's getting busier and busier. Somehow, she manages to balance church, me, school, and wedding so gracefully, and I can't thank her enough for putting the ceremony and reception together for us!

I'm sure things won't be this relaxed for long, and now is a great chance to get ahead on a couple of items.  What are some jobs that can be taken care of during the 3-4 month mark that will make things go smoother down the road?

Groom Shopping: The Mall vs. On-Line

[From Left to Right:]
Father of the Groom, Ring-Bearer (nephew) Best Man (brother)

Suit Shopping
If you’ve decided to purchase a suit for your wedding, you're taking on more work than simply renting a tux.  Renting a tux, I'd be getting the total package, shoes, shirt, ties, etc... however, when purchasing a suit, it’s my job to piece everything together.  If you're less worried about style, money, and individuality, going to The Men’s Warehouse will make suiting and accessorizing quick and painless.  Walk in, cry help, and you'll be suited in less then 10 minutes. “Your Style Consultant,” the sales person, will do all the work, except undressing you in the dressing room. While I've used Men's Warehouse for years, for my wedding I'm going to do more hunting.

I started my search online, but hunting down suits and accessories is not an easy task.  I’ve had some good finds, but the search was difficult, and you can’t get the feel for a suit by viewing it online. In addition, websites can be difficult to use, and often options are limited, colors are distorted, and items are out of stock.

My Advice: Go to the Mall.

Before you grab pitchforks and torches hear me out: mall-shopping can be a quick and painless process.  A  limited number of stores carry a smaller amount of suits, so what seems to be an endless day of shopping is just six stores and eight suits.  You'll be able to find the suit you like, and you'll be on your way.

Who would you bring during suit shopping?

Downloadable Wedding Checklist for Grooms

Ok guys, for your convenience I have comprised a list of the groom's responsibilities.  I got help from the pros by starting with wedding checklists from The Knot.  Keep in mind this is just a generic list, and you and your bride can use this as a head start. This list will take you from choosing  your groomsmen to confirming your honeymoon.  There are also some extra items like assisting with travel details for your out-of-town guests.

Presenting the Groom's Blog Wedding Checklist:

Download Printable Version Here

http://tinyurl.com/yzrzgbg

The Groom's Checklist

by Ben the Groom

Just After Engagement

• 
  
  Let friends and family know you're engaged.
• 
  
  OK the final wedding date and time with important guests (parents, siblings, and grandparents).
• 
  
  Start taking better care of yourself. Get in wedding day shape by eating right, joining a gym.
• 
  
  Begin working on your side of the the guest list. Request a "wish lists" from your parents..

After the Engagement Dust settles

• 
  
  Pick your groomsmen
• 
  
  Make sure your groomsmen are aware of what you expect of them -- especially your best man.
• 
  
  Set aside blocks of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.
• 
  
  Start planning the rehearsal dinner. Look for rehearsal dinner sites in your area.

5 Months is Waaaaay to Early to Start Planning...

• 
  
  Decide what type of formalwear (tux, suit, casual button-down and slacks) you'll wear and look through formalwear photos to get an idea of what you want.
• 
  
  Start planning your groomsmen's attire. Tuxes or suits?
• 
  
  Start looking to buy or rent your tux, suit, or other formal attire.
• 
  
  Book a hotel room for your wedding night.

4 Months Away is Apparently Crunch Time?

• 
  
  Book the rehearsal dinner site and finalize menu plans.
• 
  
  Make sure your out-of-town guests know all the details (hotel reservation and city information etc...)
• 
  
  Book your honeymoon flights and make all your other honeymoon travel reservations.
• 
  
  Decide on your groomsmen's formalwear. Let the guys know and ask them to get fitted for their tuxes.
• 
  
  Give all of the groomsmen the info they need to buy and/or reserve their attire.

2 Months... Will it ever come?

• 
  
  If you are renting a tux, visit the formalwear shop to get measured.
• 
  
  Choose and buy any accessories you will need (shoes, shirt stays, cuff links, pocket squares).
• 
  
  Arrange wedding day transportation for you, your wedding party, and guests (as needed).
• 
  
  Begin working on your ceremony vows, if you're writing your own.
• 
  
  Research local marriage license requirements.
• 
  
  Send out rehearsal dinner invitations.

Only a Month Left !?!

• 
  
  Finalize your ceremony vows.
• 
  
  Attend your bachelor party (and be sure to thank the best man afterwards).
• 
  
  Buy gifts for your best man, groomsmen, and ushers.
• 
  
  Get the marriage license and make appointments for blood tests (if necessary). Check when the license expires.

2 Weeks and Counting!

• 
  
  Work on a "must-play" wedding song list (and "do-not-play song list") for your DJ or band.
• 
  
  Confirm wedding-night and honeymoon reservations.
• 
  
  Call all your guests who haven't RSVP'd for the wedding and rehearsal dinner.
• 
  
  Prepare your wedding toasts or thanks to friends and family.
• 
  
  Pick up your tux and try it on. (Don't wait until the day of to do this!)
• 
  
  Shop and pack for the honeymoon.
• 
  
  Plan any additional night-before activities with friends and/or attendants.
• 
  
  Email transportation providers a schedule and addresses for pickups on wedding day.
• 
  
  Get your haircut.

Nights Before!

• 
  
  Put together an overnight bag for your wedding night and designate someone to deliver it to the hotel for you.
• 
  
  Leave a copy of your honeymoon itinerary with someone in case of emergency.
• 
  
  Confirm all honeymoon travel plans (including transportation to airport, etc.).

Keep a Separate Checklist

I knew weddings took a lot of work, but I really appreciated the size of the ordeal when I read straight though a wedding 'checklist.'   Checklists are generally easy reads, but wedding checklists can span two or three pages, and are categorized by subject matter and spaced out by time lines.

Your fiance is probably more mentally prepared to deal with the checklist. She's looking at a list of endless exciting opportunities, however, it still represents an enormous amount of work and can frazzle the best of them.  My advice is to create your own checklist of items that are fully your responsibility.

Creating a separate list of your to-do's will bring her check list down to size, and give you a manageable work load you can get your brain around.   You'll be more likely to complete your tasks without being asked to do so over and over and will surprise your bride with your productivity.

Before I created my own separate list, I had this haunting feeling there were things I needed to get done, but just wasn't sure where to start.  I kept asking my fiance "maybe we should go over the list again and see what we should do" but that was just waisting time putting off my own insecurities of what needed to be done, on her.  Take matters into your own hands and start figuring out whats left on your own.

If you or your bride don't feel comfortable letting you put the list together yourself, let her do it for you.  I promise she won't give you too many things to do without her.

Stay tuned for tomorrow because I'll be posting a check list for grooms.

Friday Morning Paper - Links I Like

[Me rehearsing the wedding ceremony for my friends Dustin and Lindsey]

Links You Might Like

Eye De-Puffer - For the grooms in a morning wedding

10 Groomsmen Gift Ideas: From the Art of Manliness

Best Made Co. A gift for the Best Man - Hand Painted Axe

For Grooms Going Green - Guys Inspiration Board

Your Groom
Ben

Linen Suit for Your Summer Wedding? Yay or Nay.

[Pictured: J.Crew's Ludlow Irish Linen Suit]

Yesterday I stopped by the The Men's Warehouse to try on some suits. I'm planning to wear tan, and I need to get busy narrowing down my options.  The Men’s Warehouse is carrying a Calvin Klein, two-button linen suit (on-sale), but I'm not sure how I feel about linen. The jacket felt and looked OK, however, the pants threw me off.  Granted, they weren't the right length, and I wasn't wearing the right shirt or shoes, but they just didn't seem... right.  Looking in the mirror, it seemed like I was wearing pajama pants, and the material was almost see-through. After some research I of course found that linen suits are completely suitable for summer suiting but make sure the suit is suited to your taste.

It's important to me to purchase a suit that I will wear again.  A summer suit is already a seasonal item but as the editor of Sartorially Inclined says:

"while lots of guys are afraid of spending a good chunk of change on something so seasonal it really is a good asset for your arsenal.  The great part of a summer suit is that it can often be easily broken down into its various elements and worn as seperates; what seems superfluous at first is actually quite versatile."

If you’re deciding whether or not to go linen for your summer wedding, you're making the choice between cotton or linen.  Cotton is the other fabric of choice for summer suits, but there are very clear differences between the two.  I turned to one of my favorite blogs for some help:

Cotton

"Cotton is king during the summer months; its natural wicking properties along with its strength and durability make it the choice for those looking to stay cool and get years of wear.  However, because of their tendency to wrinkle, they do require frequent attention and are considered less casual – because of this I recommend a man have at least two well fitting suits in his wardrobe before purchasing a cotton jacket. Tropical weight wools are a hot weather alternative, but even though lightweight, they are still a bit warmer than cotton and require care when cleaning. On the other hand, the drape and feel of wool is unmatched, and if the jacket is half-lined and conservative in color, it may be the most versatile garment in your closet."

Linen
"Like cotton, this is a fabric made from a plant based fiber (flax) and has the perfect summer characteristics of wicking away moisture and dissipating heat.  However, linen fabrics are often rougher and easily wrinkle, making them the least casual of summer fabrics despite their high price (this is a result more of so few producers and low demand compared with cotton). Despite the cost, a well informed gentleman realizes linen fabric is the most durable of fabrics, and a classic linen sports coat can last a lifetime if taken care of."

It really comes down to personal preference, and lucky for us cotton and linen suits look and feel very different, making the choice easier.  Try on similar suits made from both fabrics. Get a feel of what you look better in and what you can see yourself wearing later.  Take a look below for a head start.

[Side by side comparison of J.Crew's Ludlow pants. Cotton VS Linen]

[Two linen suits. Pictures from The Sartorialist]

What Does a Groom Blogger Read

The Groomsmen Gift Blog

As the editor of a groom's blog, I take it upon myself to do as much research for the groom as possible. Guys are more involved in the wedding process than ever before, I try to make their efforts as seamless as possible.  This research led me to find The Groomsmen Gift Blog, a blog affiliated with a Engraved Gift Creations. This is an excellent equal opportunity blog offering great topics for both guys and girls!  I encourage you to check out these short, helpful posts.

Veils: No longer Just For Brides

Should you go for a Military Uniform or a Traditional Formal Wear
When Did Giving Groomsmen Gifts Started?
Tripping on Aisle Runners
Packing Light For A Romantic Getaway
Those Hanging Flower Balls
The Reluctant Bride & Groom
Gearing Up for the Rehearsal Dinner
Wedding Fund-raiser, Anyone?
Wedding Day Reality: The Bride Stresses Out and The Groom Plays Golf

(This is not a sponsored post, just a recognition of interesting blogs that provide a new and different perspective for wedding blogs.)

Oscar's Red Carpet: Great Resource for Grooms

I didn't watch any of the Oscars, however thanks to GQ I realized the red carpet is an excellent way to see a lot of tuxedos.  There aren't many places to see great tuxes in action, besides the stuffy tuxedo rental shops, so here are couple options from Sunday night.  I don't care who they are or who they're wearing, just how they wear it!

[Notice, plenty of cuff. Taylor the sleeves guys]

[Choose the right lapel  for you. He's doing well with a shawl lapel]

[Did you know bow-ties come in skinny as well]

[Simple, white pocket square makes a big difference]

[Compare the Lapel on this tux with the one directly above. Decide which you prefer]

[Like the tie but something seems to be missing]

[Most importantly, look and feel comfortable in your tux]

Pictures From GQ

Find the Post in the Picture

Are you a true fan of Ben the Groom?  The picture above contains subject matter from two previous posts?  This is a screen shot from The Office, Season 6, Episode 17, The Delivery Part 1.

What posts can you find in this picture, and how do we feel about Ryan's new sartorially inclined look?

Want the answer, follow the links below.
Answer 1
Answer 2

Thanks Readers, let me know how you did.
Your Groom, 

Seven Summer Suits - If Tan Suits You

Tan suits are becoming more and more popular for summer weddings, but it's as difficult as ever to find a wide selection. For the groom looking to buy a new suit this summer, I've searched out a few options.  Happy Suiting.

J.Crew

Brooks Brothers

Banana Republic

Ralph Lauren Polo

Tallia at Macy's

Michael Kors

Theory at Neiman Marcus 

Well Groomed Groom

In a previous post I discussed if grooms should care about their hair, and as you probably guessed, the answer was yes.  A well-groomed groom equals a happy bride and great wedding photos.  Personally, I don't spend a lot of time on my hair.  A quick towel dry is style enough for me on most days, and clean-shaven means I trim my beard down to scruff.  But the wedding isn't most days, so I plan to upgrade my grooming.  To help find the right product, Lock & Mane sent me some great weapons to tackle my head of hair in preparation for my big debut.

Klorane's Dry Shampoo
What is dry shampoo? It’s an oil-absorbing powder spray that takes your unwashed hair and makes it look tons cleaner!  After a day and half without showering, going straight to dinner after work, my hair was a greasy mess. Klorane’s Dry Shampoo took me from looking like I had just woken up on a year-old pillow to a clean, fresher me!  Guys, if you like to look good but frequently fall prey to waking up too late to shower, this product is perfect for you!

John Allen's Travel Kit
John Allen’s is a company that focuses on designed men’s products. So, while you may be traveling to the wedding and traveling on the honeymoon, getting everything you need easily packed in a travel ready bag will ensure you don't forget what you need or have to leave it at the airport.  I'm not a soap aficionado, but after using their products I smelt great, felt good, and skipped my regular soaps the next shower to use them again.

NICKEL'S Travel Starter Kit
Another excellent travel-ready kit, designed to make your face feel great.  I hate clean shaving--it takes too long, leaves my skin out of wack, and leaves me constantly checking to see if my skin is going to break out.  NICKEL's face wash, shaving cream, and aftershave definitely changed that experience for me.  I LOVED the aftershave. It was somewhere between feeling like you had dove lotion on your face and slapping Home Alone style Brute on your cheeks. I can't say I've started shaving more often, but I am enjoying the experience more.

Lock & Mane offers excellent men's products out there for the unkempt groom.

Help Me Help You - A Thank You to My Readers

I wanted to take a minute to say thank you to all my loyal readers. Your comments, e-mails, and encouraging words have made creating a groom's blog an exciting experience!  Hannah and I have reached the four month mark, and we're ready to tackle the home stretch of wedding planning.

On Ben the Groom, I try to keep a balance posting of groom's advice, real stories, and entertainment, but more than anything, I want to serve you, the reader. As my blog continues to grow I want to make sure I'm providing the content you're looking for.

Guys: Let me know what posts/content you find the most helpful. Tell me what you'd like to see more of.  If you have any questions or subjects you'd like me to cover, e-mail me.  You ask, and I'll do the research!

Girls: Tell me how grooms can improve. Comment when you agree or disagree with my posts. My thoughts are much more helpful to the grooms when you're comments confirm what I've discussed.  I don’t claim to be an expert, I just go the extra step in finding what grooms need to know so send me anything you think I should post or discuss.

E-mail:  benthegroom@gmail.com - Comments, suggestions, complaints, encouraging words, subject matter, pictures, anything!

The more I hear from you, the more I love to post. Thanks Again.

Your Groom,

Ben

Ben the Home Decorator

Home sweet home.  Hannah and I just signed the lease to our wonderful new apartment located in central Tampa.  It is far better than we expected, and we are thrilled to start our life in this amazing place.  I begin moving my stuff over this week, and Hannah will move in after we've wed.  We have lots of space with plenty of character, but as I mentioned here, very little furniture to start with. Feel free to send plenty of decorating ideas, advice, and furniture our way.  I have 4 months to to prepare!

Previously, I discussed that when going vintage, be sure to utilize resources that take all the guess work out of buying vintage accessories ensuring you look sharp, and not confused during your vintage wedding.  The same should apply when buying vintage or antique furniture. Searching out vintage pieces on craigslist, yard sales or thrift stores can save lots of money, but if you aren’t careful, you'll end up with furniture you'll soon be hoping to replace.

Grooms, when it comes to home decorating I am as clueless as they come, but if you (like me) need to furnish a home on a budget make sure you:

Research First – There are books, magazines, and blogs with the your style of an antique home.  Research what’s unique about the style of that period and you'll be able to narrow down all the options out there when you are shopping.

Ask Your Neighbors – It’s likely your neighbors have a similar house to yours.  Ask them what they'd do with your open space.  They'll also probably know the best places to find the unique pieces you're looking for saving you precious time.